Does validation matter as a composer/artist?

Hi there fellow artist,

There’s no easy way to answer this question.

I think sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn’t, it just depends. However, at this point in my journey as an artist who is pursuing composing seriously, I think it does.

After I realized that I wanted to pursue composing back in 2019, there was a much longer road ahead of me than there is now.

Composing had always been intuitive and fun but to now direct all my efforts to making something of my music was daunting. Now there were stakes involved and it was hard to come to terms that composing wouldn’t always be rainbows and unicorns.

The point is this: I went a long time without anyone telling me I was any good.

Or actually that’s a lie. There were friends over the years that I had reluctantly shared my music with and they had always responded positively. Back then and even now, I genuinely basked in the compliments but deep down inside I thought that they were just being nice.

The truth is that I have been insecure the entire time and I never really confronted it.

The truth is, insecurity will never go away.

But from time to time, I do get some validation and 10 times out of 10 it helps.

As a film composer, it matters to me that what I do stirs some kind of response in people because it’s my job to make people feel something.

As a person who will inevitably die sooner or later, it doesn’t matter what people thought of my work because we’re all going to be a pile of bone and ash anyways.

It matters and it doesn’t matter.

Despite this strange contradiction, validation sure does make you feel like you’re getting somewhere.

As a composer and artist there’s no guarantee any of my dreams big or small will come true, but I create anyways because I literally can’t do anything else with my life.

This is the only way I can live with myself without going crazy.

The good news is that I’m definitely getting somewhere with composing.

All that’s left to do is stay healthy and not die.

So take care of yourself and don’t forget to have fun you crazy creative person!

-Cheska