Creating your own happiness wherever you are in life

This idea was introduced to me most recently by a wonderful mentor of mine.

It was a surprise because I expected her encourage me to make sacrifices if I wanted to get anywhere with music.

But instead she said it was important that we are able to be happy regardless of what our situations are with pursuing a passion.

I found that really intriguing because it was stupidly simple but also probably the hardest thing ever. I start to think about this idea more now that I’m experiencing new things that also make me happy outside of music.

This might’ve sounded crazy to 2019 Cheska, but I don’t have to do music full time to be happy. I don’t have to score a big Hollywood movie or win an award for my music to be happy either.

Part of me still battles with the ambitious inner critic that has pushed me to achieve things I thought I couldn’t do in the past and believes that if I’m going to call myself a composer, I have to go all out and make a living from it as soon as I can so afterwards I can do all the other things I want to do in life.

This sounds so backwards.

Now that I’m 23 and almost a year deep into the 9 to 5 work life, I’m wondering…

Where would the rest of my life go if I just hustled all the time outside of work?

Do I really have to do film music full time to be able to say I enjoy my job or my life?

Why am I so attached to the idea of my job defining me?

Why do I feel like I’m in such a rush to figure it all out and live my dream life as soon as possible?

Why do I get such a high out of reminding myself about the things I did to get where I am now?

If I barely make time for the things that are actually important, why do I expect to have more time for it later?

Woe is me!